Robby Burns Festivities

Musician's stories about events and happenings are legendary. Usually these events bring chuckles, laughs and in some cases disbelief. But this London story is one of utter horror and it deserves re-telling.

Some years ago a local band was to play a dance for the Robby Burns Festivities at Wolseley Barracks. This story takes place most likely in the early 40's. I don't remember the musicians or the name of the band leader involved but here are the events as they were told to me from people that were active musically at that time.

 As you may or may not know, Robby Burns is like the patron saint of Scotland. He was a farmer / poet and today he is remembered and revered in appropriate ceremonies all over the world. One of the "grand" events of this memorial ceremony is the cutting and tasting of the "haggis." The haggis in itself holds special meaning to the Scots.

​

On this auspicious day at Wolseley barracks, the haggis (true to tradition) was to be piped in by a Bagpiper. The base commander (or senior officer) attired in full Scottish regalia accompanies this parade and is expected to cut the haggis with a ceremonial sword.

This ritual (the cutting of the haggis) is performed to the recited words of one of Robby Burns' poems. Scotland and the people of Scottish heritage are very proud of their favorite son and take this commemorative day (complete with pagentry) as an important cultural celebration. Everything is expected to be respectfully performed within this historical protocol.

​

Well, the band.. (about 6 or so musicians) got to the Ball Room at Wolseley Barracks and gathered in the adjacent waiting room. (Which incidentally is where the haggis had been placed on a ceremonial table. The musicians were assembling their instruments, talking amongst themselves and doing what musicians usually do before the time to play is announced.

​

Well, lo and behold a few of the musicians (no doubt hungry) helped themselves to the haggis. After all, the "bark of a tree isn't bitter to a hungry squirrel." When the appointed time for the haggis came to be paraded into the main ball room, it was noticed that scavengers (scoundrels) had already tasted the haggis.

​

Needless to day, the doo doo hit the fan. I don't know all the details of what later ensued but it's understandable that the musicians in question were chastised by the base commander and later fined by the Musician's Union. (Ernie Horner was president at the time.)

I can picture the base commander foaming at the mouth in a rage, being restrained and sedated and carried out on a stretcher. To my way of thinking no amount of apologies could explain this grievous faux pas (read stupidity).

​

Royal Lippizzan Stallion Show

Some years ago the Royal Lipizzan Stallion Show appeared here in London. The Show is originally from Spain and is a world famous attraction for it's appeal to equestrian lovers.

For those of you that don't know much about this show and the well trained horses, they are white in color and do their orchestrated routine on a red carpet. All of this routine is accompanied by appropriate music. (By the way horses are not born white but turn white as they age.) The presentation is a regal spectacle of historical splendor and certainly interesting and exciting to see.

The Music that is played for the horse routine is basically from classical literature e.g. Light Cavalry Overture and others of this style. However, the tempos are dictated by the conductor that tries to meld the music to the gait of the 30 or so horses in the complex display of dressage. It should be noted that the tempos of the numbers were very strict and somewhat rigid and always slower than expected. It was a tricky show to play and you had to be on your toes.

The conductor's name escapes me after all these years but I do remember he was from England and well groomed in the traditions of English Band music and protocol. (read discipline) This means he was strict but professionally effective.

Well, the rehearsal starting time was 10:00 AM at the Gardens and everyone was there ready for the down beat except one clarinet player from this local. He was about 10 minutes late and we had already rehearsed the opening number when he sheepishly arrived dragging his instrument and "excuses" with him.

The conductor brought the 20 or so members of the orchestra to a stop and addressed the late comer. To this day, I don't know if the conductor was being tactful, efficient, pragmatic or just plain mean.

He addressed the musician, something to this effect, " We all see that you have been detained. Please compose yourself and relax as we will wait for you to get your instrument together. When you are ready we will continue on. There is no point in getting upset any further".

Well the late-comer was beside himself. He didn't know how to react to this kind of treatment. Should he rush and not take up anymore time? He didn't have a plausible excuse . certainly not one that would be acceptable to this conductor. He was late and now the conductor was holding up the proceedings to seemingly make a further point of his indiscretion.

Talk about being under the gun or under the microscope. (baton) Can you imagine 20 plus, embarrassed musicians staring at you - or in some cases glaring at you as you stumble through the act of trying to look composed, relaxed and together? I'm sure that this late-comer's getting-it-together act really dragged on in his mind.

I would like to think that the unfortunate musician was never late again for anything else in his life, certainly not another Lipizzan Stallion Show.

​

Tariff Of Fees

Every Musician's Union local has a booklet that states the fees to be paid to musicians for a variety of jobs and conditions. This booklet is called the Tariff of Fees and it varies from city to city - which means local to local.

Some years ago, I happened to notice the fees for the services of a Harpist in Toronto. Beside this Instrument. there was only one word... "Negotiable."

Considering that cartage is involved. perhaps insurance... extra time to tune the instrument for every performance. I guess this bargaining position wasn't all that out of the ordinary.

Besides. there was the human factor to consider. The harpist might not think it's worth all the hassles. You had to wave big bucks in front of a fine harpist to have them even consider the job with all of it's quirks and inconveniences.

However, it is a beautiful (heavenly) instrument and can add so much to the artistic merits of the composition.

​

Jingles And Recordings

There seems to be more jokes, stories and anecdotes that involve drummers than any other instrument. Maybe it's because drummers seem to be cut from a different cloth. Who knows?

One day there was a recording session in New York and the musicians ( a small ensemble) were asked to play music that was to be used for a Jingle. A Jingle is back-up music that will be used for marketing purposes. The background would be used to enhance a product that is to be advertised and sold. The style of the music could be almost anything from Jazz writing, Rock chart or bits and pieces ala Spike Jones bordering on sound effects.

Recording sessions can be tedious but with today's technology there is considerable latitude as to what musicians can do that is acceptable to the producer. Notes can be inserted, corrected, warped you name it. However, even that industry has gradually been taken over by electronics where "live" musicians aren't used as much.

This day the recording session was being viewed by several officials in an adjoining sound proofed room. The sound was piped in as to what the musicians were playing.

On this session, the director / conductor was very fussy and demanding as to what he wanted to hear. Perhaps what he wanted wasn't a completely musical solution because he kept repeating segments of the music over and over again without much success. He wasn't getting the results he was striving for and the session was taking more time than anticipated.

One of the spectators (probably a studio executive) concluded that the musical problem was the fault of the drummer. Althought he knew nothing about music he had suddenly become an "expert." He then verbally assessed, "Well, that drummer. He's no Mel Lewis." ( A name he had probably heard somewhere!)

Guess what? The drummer was Mel Lewis, a top musician, with a prestigious professional reputation who was respected by renowned musicians throughout the industry.

​

Ticked Off Musicians

For those of you who have played a lot of shows (supper clubs) and have come across temperamental and difficult artists (read singers) you might enjoy this story. The situation happened in Montreal at the Skyline Hotel. Well, this male singer was booked for a week at that Montreal club. It was apparent from the beginning he was going to give the band a difficult time. His mistakes or miscues were the band's fault. He found something to complain about at every turn. He rode the group (about an eight piece band) pretty hard at the rehearsal without much resolution. Needless to say, the musicians had it up to "here" with the guy. Apparently this singers reputation preceded him.

It was at the rehearsal that they collectively decided to get even with him and possibly teach him a lesson. The singer's opening number was "From This Moment On." It was an up-tempo Jazz chart, a real swingin' arrangement and was appropriate as an opener. Well the guys in the band got together and added two beats at the bar that had the word "on." (a sustained note)

However they did rehearse the opener correctly at the rehearsal. Well, let me tell you the singer was having a "bird" after the first show. For the entire week he was beside himself. One night that spot had two beats added.. and on another night it had four beats added. The conspirators added beats to other words that were sustained.

He said, "I don't understand it. I've sung this tune for over ten years but can't seem to find the "feel" anymore." "I just can't understand it." "I don't seem to know where I am on this tune and it's my opener. It's really got me upset and I dread singing it."

Since the entire band played the chart with the added beats exactly, it sounded normal and correct. Little did the singer know that the band was altering the chart. Not having any formal musical training he wasn't able to pin-point the problem.

I guess it pays to be respectful to the band, especially musicians in Montreal that can be quite mischievous when they get ticked off.

​

EDDY GRAF STORY

Although Eddy Graf wasn't born in London (Kitchener to be exact) he is associated with this city from as far back as his days at Wolseley barracks during the war. Eddy was stationed here in the 40s for several years when he was a member of the Army band at that base. Over the years he has talked very fondly about those days and the musicians he's worked with at that time. To this day, his arrangements are the mainstay of many dance band libraries in this city and those across Canada and the States.

Bandleaders appreciate Eddy's charts if not his script (notation). It's always been accepted that if you could only read his writing (script) you might have a chance at playing his arrangements. I hear that in some cases bandleaders have completely re-written his charts rather than challenge the band member's eyesight. In any case, he is an accomplished orchestrator and has recently written numerous interesting compositions for concert bands.

For many years now Eddy Graf 's Band has been one of the leading dance bands in Toronto. Also, the musicians that know him well can attest to his sense of humour, dry wit and seemingly endless patience. The story goes that Eddy was using a new drummer that just came from out of town and after a while it became apparent that this guy had a bad habit of slowing down no matter how Eddy kicked off the tune. It became a game of musical darts trying to anticipate how to beat off the tempo so that the tune ended up where Eddy wanted it. Out of frustration one night (but still keeping his cool) Eddy went to the guy just before getting into the next number to see if he could arrest this "time" dilemma. Eddy confronted the drummer politely with, "Here's where I would like the tempo to be for this next tune. How would you like me to beat it off?"

I guess you can be too subtle because the guy never caught on to what Eddy was asking nor realized that he had just been chastised.

​

Montreal Musicians

Some of my musician buddies in Toronto actually came from Montreal. We had a lot of stories to tell and it appears we had a lot in common as to the kind of work we've done and the acts we've played over the years. My buddy Al told me about being the band leader for several years at the Skyline Hotel in Montreal. He fronted a seven piece group and backed up an array of singers and entertainers. On this particular Monday (the rehearsal day) they were going to back-up a male singer. The guy considered himself a would-be Mario Lanza.

At the rehearsal, Al went to the lead alto player and cautioned him that when this singer got excited, especially when he came to the ending of the song. his pitch elevated. and he got sharper the louder he got. Some of the musicians hadn't played this performer before and were also alerted to this problem. As it turned out the last notes were painful to hear and the horns had a difficult, if not impossible time trying to making the chord accept this guy's pitch. I mean it was sharp. like practically in another key.

After about three numbers during the rehearsal, Jerry the lead alto player (finally after the cut-off of the ending note) blurts out with great resolve and apparent exasperation," Well, that settles it. Tomorrow I'm taking my horn in to have it tuned."

​

Itzhak Perlman Story

This is my favourite musician's story. It goes that some years ago Itzhak Perlman, renowned violinist, was booked to play at Carnegie Hall. It was the middle of December and that evening, New York was experiencing the most severe ice storm in a hundred years. To say the least, transportation options that evening were few, dangerous and understandably chaotic. All traffic eventually ground to a halt. Taxis weren't able to navigate the treacherous streets. Street cars quit running. All traffic was severely disrupted. Itzhak assessed the situation as he waited behind the curtain at the Concert Hall.

He peered through the sides of the curtain and saw what looked like about 30 brave souls that had some how managed to get to the Hall. It was obvious there wasn't going to be a concert that evening. He asked some of the Hall attendants to open the curtain and give him a microphone so that he could personally thank the few people that came. He wheeled himself to the center of the stage and addressed the limited audience.

He began, "I would like to thank each and every one of you for making this challenging effort to attend the concert tonight. It's obvious how the weather conditions have curtailed any chance of people getting here. You really must be true "patrons of the arts" to brave such weather conditions and some how get here. " "Again, I would like that thank you for your support. We are going to postpone the concert to another date. You will be notified when that concert will be held. You will all be refunded the price of your tickets for tonight and as a gesture of thanks you will be awarded the very best seats in the house for that designated performance. Again I thank you."

As he was wrapping up his thank- you speech one of the disgruntled patrons interrupted with slurred speech .... "Well. er...while we're here. the least you can do is sing one number.

​

Circus Drummer

Musician's anecdotes seem to come across as being contrived but I assure you this event actually happened. This story is about a musician / drummer in Toronto by the name of Bruce Philp. I happen to know him personally and I hope he doesn't mind my divulging his name as he has become world famous as a result of this memorable happening. Bruce is a fine individual and a gifted professional drummer, highly proficient in an array of musical styles from dance work, theatre and miscellaneous shows etc. As they say he does it all. He's played in Toronto for many years.

This particular day he was engaged to do the Shrine Circus and Bruce always looked forward to these frequent opportunities. He considered the job a drummer's treat and further more he was good at it. He was one of the best "circus" drummers around. It takes considerable "chops" to do the drum work required for a circus gig. It takes great dexterity and a "theatrical" imagination. Not only does the drummer (who sits front and center stage to view the acts) play the music with the rest of the band but must on cue or instinct embellish e.g. the high-wire act as the performer is swinging back and forth. His contribution is the "icing" on the cake. You can't write what he has to play. These musical solos (snare rolls interspersed with occasional loud cymbal crashes) high-light the act's endeavours and add a sense of drama to the performance. The drummer is the mainstay of circus work and the better the drummer the better the show. It's difficult to imagine a Circus performance without the skills of a superb drummer who can ad lib with a sense of flair.

On this special show, Bruce was engaged in reinforcing the performance of a high-wire act. He was following the aerialist as he was swinging back and forth doing his breath-taking routine. Bruce was in the middle of the routine and climaxed the presentation with the traditional cymbal / bass crash to conclude the segment. However, Bruce didn't notice that the performer had missed the handle bars and had tragically crashed to the ground. (severly injuring himself ) Bruce was so engrossed in the presentation that he hadn't noticed this tragic happening. However, true to his professionalism Bruce had played the poor guy right to the ground not realizing what he had just done. Well, needless to say, that such a story had spread all over the world. Drummers loved knowing that one of their members was so musically engrossed that he had been an unwitting party to such a serious outcome.

A few months later, Bruce was playing at the Royal York Hotel in the Imperial room with the house band. The Imperial room frequently had international acts that carried their own musicians. (read drummer). Well one day during the week Bruce and the other drummer decided to have coffee and talk about the music business or whatever. The guest drummer was from New York and started to tell Bruce about a guy (drummer) that once played a circus and played the high-wire act right to the ground without realizing what he had done...cymbal / bass crash and all. Bruce said, "Yes, I heard that story. that drummer was me."

​

Bobby Hackett Story

Bobby Hackett was a famous trumpet (cornet) player. It could be said that he ensured his musical legacy when he recorded an album called, "For Lovers Only." He was under contract with Capitol Records at the time and the conductor of the orchestra backing Hackett for this album turned out to be Jackie Gleason. Yep, that Jackie Gleason.

Hackett's lush "romantic" sound was his trademark. He was originally a guitar player. His background on this instrument most likely influenced his melodic approach to fusing chords the way he did. It was as though he were massaging the notes one at a time. To this day, "For Lovers Only" is being successfully marketed and enjoyed by generations of new music lovers the world over. (May I digress a bit and mention that Johnny Noubarian's trio backed up Hackett some years ago here in London at a supper club called Campbell's. Most likely it was the 60's. )

On the private side of Bobby Hackett it could be said he was a true gentleman in the purest sense of the word. He never had anything negative to say about any musician, or for that matter, anyone. His reluctance to bad-mouth anyone soon became legendary in the music business. Beside his wonderful trumpet playing fellow musicians would comment on what a up-standing individual he was for being so considerate and mild mannered.

The story goes that a few musicians got together and conspired to "trick" Bobby into saying something negative or demeaning about a person so revolting that even Bobby wouldn't be able to skirt the obvious. A couple of these well intentioned musicians approached Bobby one day and off-handedly said "Bobby, what do you think about Adolph Hitler?" Bobby pondered the question for a few seconds (The guys no doubt thought." Aha... We got him."). "Well", said Bobby slowly and deliberately, "He was the best in his field."

​

The Windsor Fuzz

This next occurrence takes place in Windsor, Ontario sometime in the 40's. There was a war on and everyone was a bit jittery about strangers and things they didn't understand. There were spies everywhere, or so they thought and people seemed overly suspicious and edgy. It was the weekend and after a gig this musician was walking through town to catch the last bus to go home. After a bit of a stroll a police cruiser pulled up rather abruptly beside him and two big burly cops came towards him. Probably the senior of the two blurted out in a menacing way, "Okay buddy! Stop right there! Put down the package and don't make any sudden moves!"

The petrified musician wasn't going to argue with this show of force and put down his case. Cops didn't need "probable cause" to stop you in those days and besides, as I mentioned, Canada and the United States were on "full alert." It was wartime. The cop opened the case gingerly and to his embarrassment and surprise discovered... a saxophone and not a machine gun (alto sax to be exact). After some lame apologies from the police the musician was allowed to continue on his way. He pondered the scary events of the evening and later came to some dubious conclusions.

He figured that the cops had been watching too many gangster movies with Edward G. Robinson, George Raft and others of this ilk. Hiding a weapon in a music case was a ploy used by Hollywood writers in those "black and white" days. He also concluded that the cops obviously weren't musically inclined. In other words, "What's a saxophone?"

​

Herald Trumpets

When I left the Stratford Festival Theatre some years ago, I purchased the old set of Herald trumpets from the company. They were replacing them with a better quality set and they were agreeable to my purchasing the old horns. I actually didn't have a need for them at the time. There were three trumpets and one valve trombone in the set. Herald trumpets have long extended bells (stretched out) so that banners can be attached. It's been a tradition since the first days of Stratford to have musicians play these "showy" instruments.

At the Stratford Festival fanfares are played before the performances on these Herald Trumpets. These presentations are usually on the outside balcony to announce that the program will be beginning in short order. The second fanfares are played inside to announce that the performance is about to begin and that patrons should take their seats. The routine has varied over the years. Theatre-goers that have come to see these Shakespearean plays all enjoy the sound of the horns. These fanfares have added a sense of majesty to the pageantry that is Stratford and over the years have become a tradition. I merely give you some background as to how I acquired these instruments.

For many years a variety of work was plentiful in the greater Toronto area. You name it we were doing these engagements. Agents frequently called me to provide a couple of players to do fanfares at the Casa Loma. These Herald trumpets were just the thing for this sort of popular convention presentations. This particular time John Liddle [a very reliable and capable musician ) and myself were to do this fanfare routine at the Castle. In such cases, since I would bring the horns all John had to do was to bring his mouthpiece. John knew the routine and always did a great job. John Liddle is a very reliable and capable trumpet player and the last person you would think would let you down. Well, that evening, lo and behold John showed up for the gig but without his mouthpiece. (I didn't have a spare). He remembered putting it in his pocket. There was no way John wasn't prepared for such a job. He was a guy that did things by the numbers and he assured me he remembered bringing his mouthpiece. Somehow it was missing.

Well, we still had plenty of time before doing the fanfares at the entrance of the Castle so we called all the trumpet players we knew that lived in the area to try to get a replacement mouthpiece. As luck would have it no one was home. The question now was what to do. We at least looked the part with Beefeater Costumes and two horns with colourful banners. However, that particular night the agent was there and she was a stickler for having everything done properly (read getting her money's worth.). It was now a question of whether John and I could pull this off. I asked John if he could get a noise out of the horn without the mouthpiece. I would use whatever came out as a "harmonic" drone note and would ad lib and make up a fanfare based on what he could do using that note as the key. It wasn't much but it was all we could come up with. There is an expression, "desperate people do desperate things."

Well, it worked for a bit but not very successfully. John couldn't get any sound to balance my playing. After about six fanfares that must have sounded lopsided, the agent caught on to what we were doing. Naturally she was a bit ticked off. We continued the engagement with this rather odd solution and finished the job. Now the agent didn't want to pay the negotiated fees. I assured her that at the least, John should be paid an actor's fee for showing up. I countered with, "John came early to be in costume. He did the best he could under the circumstances. He looked the part and that was something. He did make a visual contribution to the presentation."

When John got home that evening he found the mouthpiece on his bed. Apparently, as he was getting dressed and putting on his socks (while sitting on the bed)the mouthpiece rolled out of his pocket. It was one of those things that would never happen again. I now have extra mouthpieces with me just in case. But in case of what? What are the chances of this situation repeating itself. Let's just say that John and I survived the challenges of the evening. Incidentally, John Liddle is the conductor of the Toronto Encore Concert Band. Yes, it's also called "Encore".

​

Wedding Gig

There used to be a lot of wedding work in Toronto but this gradually disappeared with the emergence of disc jockeys. However this particular gig took place some years ago. It must have been a big bash as the patron had both a big band (12 piece group) and a string quartet hired for the wedding event. The quartet was in one room and the big band was in the main Ball Room.

The music stands and mikes were set up that afternoon before the designated starting time. However, the scheduling that the mother of the bride organized didn't come about as planned. The guests had come early, were eating for some time now, and they expected some background music. This evening by chance, the drummer happened to come early to check things out. He had already set up that afternoon. He sat down behind the set of drums and made last minute adjustments to the equipment. The mother of the bride was in a panic because the rest of the band wasn’t there, even though there was about 25 minutes at least to the starting time and contractually no one was late.

She didn't understand the situation and all she wanted was music. After all she paid a big buck for the festivities. She confronted the drummer and said, “We need some music right now for my guests. Would you please start playing?” The drummer was a good-natured fellow, (at least he was amiable that evening) and was willing to accommodate the distraught mother of the bride. He picked up his brushes and started swirling for the next while when another musician appeared in the wings (a trumpet player). The trumpet player said to the drummer, " What are you doing?" "I'm playing, can't you see." The horn player responded, "Well, tell me what and why are you playing?" "The mother of the bride wanted "Stardust" and she wanted it right now."

​

Igor And His Foibles

Some years ago when there was a lot of work there was also a lot of problems for musicians. Some bandleaders (not many mind you but a few) had a habit of not paying the musicians that had played for them. Incidentally this situation took place in Omaha, Nebraska where I once lived and worked. It was as though, once the bandleader got paid by the client, that money was "theirs." They just couldn't part with it without going into spasms. Even in some cases being threatened with legal action (or worse) wouldn't prompt them to part with the money.

One such character (offender) was Igor (not his real name). You could call him after several weeks, perhaps months or after a year for the money and still Igor would give you some lame excuse. You would get, "I'm sorry Billy - I meant to send you a cheque but I couldn't find my cheque book or, "I couldn't find my glasses. I couldn't see to write my signature." It was like that old story, "I had an emergency and needed the money because my "sick dog" needed an operation."

Igor had been up in front of the Union Board to address any number of complaints. Most of the time it was because he was delinquent in not paying the musicians the money he owed. However, one time he was up in front of the board complaining because he hadn't been paid by some client. (That brought a chuckle from the Board Members except of course the musicians that played the gig.) The Union was well aware of this guy's reputation but couldn't seem to curtail his annoying habit where money matters were concerned. The problem was that Igor would eventually pay. Most of the time, he would contrive a somewhat plausible excuse why the money was late. He always seemed to be on a safe legal footing, albiet a precarious one. Clients have been known to be tardy where payment was concerned. Agents could also slow down the payment process. And if you were working for a big corporation, their 30 or 60 day payment policy could also stretch out the payment time frame. In other words there were a lot of trees to hide behind in such situations.

One day, I was talking to a fellow musician who just happened to be complaining about Igor and these exasperating shenanigans. It appears Igor owned him for a lot of jobs. He went on and on about this guy's reluctance to pay. After he admitted to being owed for well over a dozen jobs, it begged the question. "But Frank." "Why do you keep playing for him?" He got, "Well, he gives me a lot of work."

Some people never learn!!

​

Film Shoots

There was a time when a great many Hollywood films were done in Toronto. Eastern Avenue in that city has blocks of huge buildings that look like warehouses but are actually gigantic film studios. When our Canadian dollar was significantly less than the American buck, Canada and especially Toronto was the place to shoot. At that time there were many opportunities to get in on this type of work that is, if you knew the agent that did the hiring. Being a musician I could be called for a lot of film shoots that required a band or orchestra for a particular scene. Our hiring status was a step above an extra's. We were considered "Special Services" actors.

You were paid a higher fee because you played an instrument. You were also paid for the use of that instrument and in some cases they gave you a fee for the Tuxedo. The governing Union body (A.C.T.R.A) that oversees this type of employment has many benefits that are quite progressive. However, to be fair the working conditions are enormously different than a regular music job. After 8 hours of employment the scale goes up and after 12 hours it is doubled. Then after the first 6 hours the cast and crew have to be fed. Meal times are strictly observed or you receive compensation and the filming company is penalized. I have to say that his type of employment isn't for everyone as there is a lot of time spent just hanging around waiting to be called "on camera." Let me tell you. You drink a lot of coffee or sit around for hours doing crossword puzzles.

The agent that would hire you expected a complete commitment to the scheduling as subbing out was completely out of the question. This stipulation is understandable, as a film sequence in which you are in can't have other faces replacing you. They call it "continuity." I've always enjoyed doing these jobs and got to work with many big names as Sylvester Stalone, David Carradine, Angie Dickenson, Antonio Banderas, Robin Williams, Danny Devito and many others. You weren't expected to play but most of the time you did. This helped make the scene believable. When there were strings in the orchestra you could count on having music, as it would be impossible for the violin section to bow together without actually playing something written. Other times you would just mime to a sound track that is piped in for you to hear.

One day I got a call from a trumpet player Herbie Spanier. Herbie had a reputation for being a real character. He really did march to a different drummer in everything he did. It's difficult to say whether he was a good trumpet player as his playing was so "off the wall" and creative that there were only limited uses for his type of playing. He wasn't considered suitable for many of the traditional dance bands that were doing a lot of weekend work. However, I have heard some recordings by the National Film Board of Canada and on these occasions, Herbie is absolutely brilliant. He is as far out as you can imagine but in my estimation his creative playing is completely appropriate. Herbie had heard that I had done a number of films and owned a lot of costumes and equipment that could be used in film shoots.

He had just landed a job on a film and he needed to borrow a violin for a scene requiring him to go from table to table as an entertainer. (He didn't play violin but in this case that didn't matter.) Well, it so happens that I had a fiddle that I got from a school. The school had a fire in the music room but this violin somehow survived. It was slightly charred and the strings were missing. I replaced the strings and the violin ended up as a pleasing ornament on my wall. I heard that Herbie needed the work so I loaned him the violin with his promise that he would return it after the film shoot in a week or so. Well, a week became a month and so on and then it became six months. To be honest with you, if I had never gotten the violin back from Herbie I was out a whole five bucks. It was not a big deal. I decided to have some fun with Herbie and I concocted an invoice with very official looking letterhead that I mailed to him. The Invoice more or less stated....Rental of Stradivarius violin for professional use (not returned) $10,000 dollars.

In a few days, here is Herbie knocking on my door around six a.m. looking haggard and somewhat frightened returning my violin. Poor guy. I think he thought the invoice was a valid legal document. Herbie Spanier was one of a kind.

​

Finding The Right Place

In the old days in Toronto, there was so much work that you really had to be careful to end up at the right place e.g. dance hall, synagogue, hotel, whatever. You had to be careful to have the correct date, time and dress requirements accurately noted in your calendar at all times.Some musicians in that city, got into the habit of writing down every detail the band leader was laying on them e.g. the time of the call, the date of the call, everything just to be on the safe side just in case there was a dispute. Dates could be changed and times could be adjusted and other details could also be altered. I've experienced my share of close calls in such situations both as a sideman and as a leader.

In TO, especially up and down Bathurst Street there are several synagogues in close proximity to one another. I've never understood why they were built this close. It wasn't uncommon for musicians to blunder into the wrong synagogue and realize their mistake when they spotted another unknown band already playing. There was a lot of Jewish work in Toronto in those days (weddings, bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs) and the guys that had the connections cornered this ethnic market. When I first came there, I ended up doing my share of these long hour engagements. Being hired for five and six hours wasn't out of the ordinary. True to tradition the band was treated well and you were always fed the same meal as the guests. There was always too much to eat and too much to drink.

This one particular bandleader was thinking of replacing his bass player. It might have been for musical reasons or perhaps they just didn't get along or whatever. To initiate this up coming change he told the musician that the job on the following Friday was postponed. He wanted to try out another bass player that night. Well, the soon-to-be-fired bass player, perhaps suspecting something was up, did show up that Friday in tuxedo and with his instrument and came ready to play. The bandleader was astonished to see him walk in and blurted out, "I thought I told you this job was cancelled!"

​

Christmas Gigs

!n the good old days, the days when a lot of musicians seemed to be working, my agency began concentrating on the Christmas business, specifically the Shopping Malls. The work was very plentiful, especially the day of Santa's arrival. The Malls (usually about six weeks before Christmas) had Santa "arrive" as part of their Holiday program. This show of marketing splendour was to officially announce the start of their season. Unfortunately most of these opening days turned out to be the same Saturday. However, right up to Christmas we were extremely busy doing these cheerful events.

It was normal for the malls to try to out do each other as to how Santa would arrive. Sometimes he came on a sleigh pulled by elves. Or a horse might pull the sleigh (outside the mall). However, a parade was always part of their program and Santa eventually was directed to his "throne" just outside of his erected Castle. This is the spot where he listens to children that wish a special gift or gifts on Christmas day. It is also the place where these kids might be photographed and the pictures might be sold to the parents as mementos of the visit. These programs have the same theme and intent in mind and that is to get you and your kids into the mall to spend money. Fair enough because we (the musicians) were party to this inducement. It was a busy time for the Malls (merchants) and it was also a busy time for us the musicians. These jobs required a substantial investment on my part, in red and white costumes (sweaters) scarves, white pants and hats to look the Christmas part. Not only did we look good but we sounded great.

This particular day, St. Nick's arrival was held at the Oakville Mall. He was arriving in a helicopter no less. Wow, this was something special. I remember having put together a five-piece group for this special occasion. The guys came at least a half hour before the start (enough time) so that they could get into the uniforms I provided and be ready to play at the designated starting time. They all had white pants as they had done many of these parades for me before. There is always a first time for everything, and lo and behold I had forgotten the uniforms. Horrors! I can't believe I did that. All I can say is that I must have had a lot on my mind to forget something of that importance. Kicking yourself wasn't going to solve the problem.

The way the musicians looked when they came was pretty pedestrian with their assorted sweaters and shirts. I was really in a panic. The appearance of the group was more important than how we actually sounded. Marketing people are big on the "visual." However, there was just enough time to initiate a solution but luck would have to be on my side. I said to the guys, "Get your instruments ready because this is going to be tight." I then rushed (ran) out into the Mall to Sears a large department store. I ran to the men's wear section and grabbed three large red sweaters and two medium sized sweaters. I quickly put these on my credit card. Fortunately there wasn't a line-up at the cashier's counter. I was thinking "so far so good."

When I got back to my crew I said, "Put these on quickly but don't take the price tags off." Well, the parade and the festivities went splendidly. Every one was happy. After the parade I calmly took the sweaters back and said to the cashier that the sweaters were of fine quality but weren't exactly what I was looking for. Without any argument and true to their "money back guaranteed policy" the sales girl credited my account.

Wow, that was close. Sometimes things work out in spite of your intentions and apparent lack of planning.

​

Piano On Gigs

Before the music scene turned electronic it must have been a frustrating challenge for piano players to have to endure the pianos that were supplied by the clubs, dance halls or whatever in those days. Some of these instruments had been ready for the scrap heap for years. It reminded you of the joke "Fix the piano? We just had it painted last week." In fact I remember some musicians that had to endure an evening at some ethnic hall on the "piano" provided, decided to break a few more hammers to render the "instrument" unplayable. This didn't work. The following week the band had to play on that same piano but with more missing notes.

There is a Polish area in Toronto called Roncesvalle. Most of the restaurants and stores in that area cater to the dense Polish population. There was one restaurant that I used to frequent called The Chopin. It was a great place to eat delicious pierogi and sample some interesting Polish beer. In the summer time one could sit on the patio near the sidewalk and take in the sights of this European atmosphere. It was a pleasant way to spend a Saturday afternoon. The Chopin's entertainment was an elderly gentleman that played their piano (an old up-right). He apparently knew a lot of Chopin compositions and did his best on the piano provided. However the piano had big gobs of silent notes missing in the middle register. This didn't matter. The guy just barrelled through the compositions and pretended that the missing notes were there. (He sang the silent notes to himself.) There wasn't any way he could know where he was in the composition if he didn't take this approach.

From my standpoint, it was like a live Pete Barbutti routine and worth listening to and enjoying. It didn't matter to the patrons or the restaurant owner that this musician was being challenged on this "monster" of an instrument. It was like trying to build a "watch" with a hammer. Poor guy. He always had a sunny disposition and it appeared he enjoyed the employment if not the instrument. He would tackle the numbers with great gusto.

Some time later, I heard that the restaurant finally relented and addressed the piano situation when they renovated the entire restaurant. They repainted the piano.

​

EDDY GRAF STORY

Although Eddy Graf wasn't born in London (Kitchener to be exact) he is associated with this city from as far back as his days at Wolseley barracks during the war. Eddy was stationed here in the 40s for several years when he was a member of the Army band at that base. Over the years he has talked very fondly about those days and the musicians he's worked with at that time. To this day, his arrangements are the mainstay of many dance band libraries in this city and those across Canada and the States.

Bandleaders appreciate Eddy's charts if not his script (notation). It's always been accepted that if you could only read his writing (script) you might have a chance at playing his arrangements. I hear that in some cases bandleaders have completely re-written his charts rather than challenge the band member's eyesight. In any case, he is an accomplished orchestrator and has recently written numerous interesting compositions for concert bands.

For many years now Eddy Graf 's Band has been one of the leading dance bands in Toronto. Also, the musicians that know him well can attest to his sense of humour, dry wit and seemingly endless patience. The story goes that Eddy was using a new drummer that just came from out of town and after a while it became apparent that this guy had a bad habit of slowing down no matter how Eddy kicked off the tune. It became a game of musical darts trying to anticipate how to beat off the tempo so that the tune ended up where Eddy wanted it. Out of frustration one night (but still keeping his cool) Eddy went to the guy just before getting into the next number to see if he could arrest this "time" dilemma. Eddy confronted the drummer politely with, "Here's where I would like the tempo to be for this next tune. How would you like me to beat it off?"

I guess you can be too subtle because the guy never caught on to what Eddy was asking nor realized that he had just been chastised.

​

Guy Lombardo & Society Bands

Some years ago I went to the Stork Club in Port Stanley to catch Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians. I was finally prompted out of curiosity to see for myself just what made Guy's band the success that it was. Maybe there was some musical "secret" to their longevity and popularity. Perhaps I could discover for myself just what made this band "tick." That evening at the Club I just sat and listened and tried to observe. The ballroom, as expected, was packed with enthusiastic elderly fans. Guy exhibited his usual bandleader's charm. He always had a classy air about himself dressed in a tuxedo and conducting with a baton. Yes, the band did play what some people (perhaps musicians) labelled "business man's bounce." However there was no denying it. People enjoyed dancing to his music. It was a dance band playing dance music.

Guy discovered a "formula" that may have been the key to his success. "Don't put the hay so high that the mules can't reach it. (It's an old saying. One I'm sure he never actually used.) Admittedly his was a selective musical recipe but it obviously worked and I might add it worked for him for many years. For decades Guy had an impressive following. His theme song to this day is traditionally played every New Year's Eve at that magical moment at midnight. One "secret" that I observed that evening that if some one requested e.g. "Moon Glow" He did get Moon Glow, but he also got Moon over Miami and perhaps another song with Moon in the title all in the same medley.

A big portion of Guy's library was in medley form. If you asked for "Stardust" you would get that request plus "Stardreams" and another song with "Star" in the title. This was probably one of the charms of this band's appeal. In the course of the evening it seemed that Guy played hundreds of well-known popular songs because of this "medley" formula. There was bound to be songs that people could relate to in this vast selection. Talk about reaching and tapping into the memories of your audience. He wasn't just selling music he was selling nostalgia. The band was a "society" band and his was one of the best in this style.

Being a native Londoner, Guy was naturally respected and appreciated in his hometown. He did bring a measure of recognition to this part of Ontario. Not only was he applauded for his successful presence in the music scene but also for another successful pursuit, that of speed boat racing. There aren't many stories that relate to Guy and his musical family. The only one I remember was one about Guy and his brother Liebert who played lead trumpet for him. Liebert was with that band with Carmen for many years right from the beginning. I guess Liebert was surprised it turned out to be a steady job. Anyways... Guy heard Liebert hit a high C for the first time warming up before a dance. "Hey cut that out,” Guy implored. People will think we're trying to sound like Stan Kenton."

​

Lester Lanin

Lester Lanin's bands have dominated the dance band scene for over 50 years. He was so successful in and around New York that clients would book his band years in advance. He had to have several bands to accommodate these multiple bookings. (Some times up to 15 bands on one night.) His bands would appear at engagements without him, while he was somewhere else (perhaps the Whitehouse in Washington) with another one of the bands. His music was very popular with the dancing "society" crowd. What people didn't know was that the orchestra that might consist of perhaps 3 trumpets, 2 trombones 4 or 5 saxes with rhythm section and strings played without music. I don't mean they memorized what they were playing. There was no written music. Instead the lead players created instant arrangements as they played. They were expected to lay down the melody in such a way that the others in the section could follow it and in harmony. It sounded together and it was.

One of the advantages of his formula was that the band could go from tune to tune without the musicians looking for any music. There wasn't any. If it was a medley the rhythm section played the four bar interludes establishing the key. This "no arrangements" formula dictated how the music was to be played. On rare occasions there might be just a few recent rock charts on the stand. These tunes were so new that these lead sheets were considered only a guide. A second trumpet (section player) was expected to have a good "ear" as to his harmony notes. The third player (and all the inner voices as well) were also expected to be specialists in making up these harmonies and in the same rhythm dictated by the lead players.

There was a sizeable "stable" of Lester Lanin musicians that were his regular players that knew the routine and were good at making the music "work." (I might add, there were two bands in Toronto that used this same "no music” idea. One was the Frank Bogart band and the other was Stanley St. John. These were also "society" bands). There was a trumpet teacher at the University of Toronto some time ago and he was originally from New York City. He let me in on some of these Lester Lanin oddities as he had done considerable work for that organization when he lived on the East coast. One day he said, he got a call from the Lester Lanin orchestra to do an engagement. He was to be picked up in front of the Waldorf Astoria at 9:00 AM the following morning. He didn't think the time was relative to anything as the Lester Lanin band could be playing a convention or some other important function in New York and at any hour. When he was picked up, the limo took him to the airport where he promptly boarded a chartered aircraft. This was all a big surprise to him, as the details of the engagement were somehow never disclosed. That night he ended up playing in Rome, Italy. He didn't even have a toothbrush with him.

​

Buddy Rich

It's been rumored that sometimes, Buddy Rich (world famous big band drummer) could be quite "difficult" to get along with for no apparent reason. However, in spite of these perceived "personality difficulties" (or whatever) musicians still clamored to be in his band. His band was an exciting and awesome musical display of energy and emotion. Having his name on your resume meant a lot in the music world. It gave credibility to your musicianship if you had been associated with Buddy's high musical standards. If he felt you gave it all you had every night then he most likely ignored you. After all, he felt he was giving it everything he had and more, night after night and he expected the same from you.

It so happens that renowned lead trumpet player Al Porcino was joining the band. Buddy and Al had known each other for years but Al never got the opportunity to play for Buddy all this time. The first night that Al was on the band, it was apparent that Rich was going to show Al a thing or two. Buddy was known to be somewhat cantankerous whenever he felt like it. Now Al had the reputation of being a strong lead trumpet player with "cast iron" chops. It seems he had endless stamina. Well, the first set that Buddy called had all the "flag wavers" in it, one after the other. The pacing of the set was near suicidal. These tunes were exciting and really demanding and would have taken most good players to their limits. It soon dawned on Porcino that Buddy was trying to run him into the ground and for no other reason but to make a point (whatever that was). It was Buddy's way of saying, "Welcome aboard."

Well, Al hung in there tune after tune and played the charts admirably. He wasn't going to coast or show any signs of fatiguing. Now I have to interject, that Al talks very slowly and deliberately, almost as though he were speaking one word at a time. That is his manner of speech. When it came for the first break he confronted Buddy quite forcefully in his "slow and deliberate" voice, "Hey Buddy. When are you going to play the hard stuff?"

​

Critics

Groucho Marx once remarked that he would never belong to a club or organization that would have him as a member. That was a left-handed way of saying that he wouldn't have any respect for a club that was that desperate. There used to be a writer for one of the Canadian newspapers some years ago that also earned this same dubious reputation. He wrote reviews on music, entertainment and the arts in general. His knowledge of music and of musicians specifically was limited to what he had listened to on his old collection of 78's. His record collection most likely went no further than stuff recorded up to around 1935. Anyways that's what the musicians concluded at the time.

Meade Lux Lewis and perhaps Jelly Roll Morton would have been his idols, people from the distant past. He didn't appear to have a clue as to what artists like Oscar Petersen were doing. He seemed to take delight in panning local Jazz musicians in that city. Since he had no understanding of their playing, he carved them up pretty badly. A writer who is so heavy-handed in his criticisms is not on anyone's favorite Christmas list. He even "wasted” Errol Gardner and took on Sammy Davis Jr. when they came to that city. However, his favorite targets were the Jazz musicians on the local scene at the time. Musicians would get together and talk about who had been lambasted in this guy's column lately. It became apparent after a while, that the "writer" knew "zilch" about what was good music and good playing. How he got this writing assignment for a rather prestigious newspaper was any one's guess.

It was concluded that the guy was less than deserving of any respect and had little credibility. His opinions didn't stand for much. If he liked your playing maybe you should be suspicious. Getting a favorable review from this guy was considered something to try to avoid and for many it was an embarrassment. Soon the talk amongst musicians was that if he did give you a good review, you had better re-assess your playing and start practicing.

​

Glenn Miller

During the war, famous musicians (band leaders) fronted military bands to help the war effort. Glenn Miller was in the Air Force, Artie Shaw was in the Navy and Harry James fronted an army band. These bands were formed originally with the intent of bolstering the morale of the troops. Their assignments also included providing music and entertainment for shows that were associated with "War Bond Drives" and other fund raisers. As for the musicians in these bands, it was a preferred way to spend the duration playing their instruments, rather than holding a rifle in some dangerous military action.

Jimmy Stewart aka Glenn Miller remained in the United States Air Force after the war. He was a bomber pilot during that conflict where he flew B29's over Europe. At the time he was assigned to the 8th Air Force Bomber Command. Years later when the movie "Strategic Air Command" was made, Jimmy flew the bombers that were used for some of the film sequences. I was in the United States Air Force as a musician in the mid 50's and was stationed at Offutt Air Force Base in Omaha, Nebraska. This was a Strategic Air Command Base (headquarters to be exact) and these big B47's and B52's bombers would frequently land there.

On occasion the word would go out around the base that Jimmy Stewart had just landed. His presence was the "buzz" of many of his admirers. However, I personally never saw him around. Jimmy stayed in the Air Force Reserve and became a high ranking officer till his retirement as a two star general. Hollywood's treatment of such biographies as The Glenn Miller Story is typical Hollywood "schlock". The bit about String of Pearls and how this number got it's name is close to embarrassing. However, it must be remembered that in those days these films were written in this "sugar-coated" manner. Hollywood studios didn't embarrass easily in the 50's. If it were discovered that June Allyson (Mrs. Glenn Miller) knew how to tap dance they would have written this into the story line. It wouldn't have had any relevence to the story of Glenn Miller's war time experiences but that wouldn't have mattered.

Murray McEachran, a gifted trombone player from Toronto (who was residing in Los Angeles at the time) was asked to do the sound track for that movie. He was to play the trombone parts that Jimmy Stewart did as Glenn Miller. Murray did a first rate job with what he had to work with on these sessions. After the recordings were complete, the studio still thought they were missing another segment that required his trombone services. This was about two weeks after the completion of Murray's sound track contract. Although what the studio requested was only a few minutes of recorded music, Murray was busy with other commitments.

However, he agreed to come back for this very short recording bit when the studio said they would really make it worth his while. They didn't want to substitute another player's sound for what Murray had already done. Along with this financial inducement and as a gesture of appreciation for his troubles they gave him a new "Cadillac" convertible. Hollywood could be generous in those days.

​

​